The power of a positive attitude...

Too easily I forget how contagious a positive attitude can be. There are certain people that I want to surround myself with, and at the top of the list are people who are happy and positive and breeze through life with a carefree attitude. I strive to be like these people, and it is my sincere hope to one day be a positive force in another person's life.

If you smell falafel, it's probably me...

Last night was a fun social experience. I had dinner with a few gals from work, and one of their sisters. I really enjoy getting to know new people, and learn character traits. There are things that have shaped peoples lives and made them who they are, and if you listen to someone long enough they begin to divulge them. People's dieting habits, traumatic events as a child, or music they just love to listen to- all character traits that make them whole and fascinating. Meeting new people makes me want to be a writer. I think I could be a really good writer, and enjoy the craft, but I'm too lazy. Writing is an art that takes discipline, and I have too many other disciplines that I'm trying to focus on, so I'll leave the writing to others, and just enjoy getting to know the characters of real life.

Dinner was scrumptious. We had a Mediterranean theme with pita bread stuffed with humus and veggies, falafel, and blueberry batter cake. All were new to me, and all were wonderful. This morning however, I noticed that my clothes smelled like falafel, and my hair had the faint scent of it stuck in the roots. I've showered, but in my hurry to get to work I put on the same jeans that I wore last night, and all day I will smell like dinner. Kinda makes me hungry.

Nothing better...

There is possibly nothing better than a lazy Sunday spending time with those you love. This last weekend I spent time at home with the boys and enjoyed every minute of it! Tai'Lan (who just turned 1 January 10th) was enjoying some ice cream and quickly became a chocolaty mess.So I of course grabbed my camera and snapped some photos, and then threw him in the tub and kept my camera around for some squeaky clean photos.
He has developed this fake cry that is the most pathetic sound ever. He scrunches his face and makes this "Ehh" sound, then looks at you and makes sure you noticed and giggles. Its hilarious, and I finally caught it in digital memory.

Things Always Seem Better After I Blog...

Since things always seem better after I write about it (or sleep on it), I'm going to give it a shot.
After I graduated with my B.A. I expected things to be different. A Bachelors degree comes with a sense of entitlement, an expectation to have a great job, and be able to afford things that you have been saving for this moment. But unfortunately I have found that life is not that much different. In fact, I seem to be more stressed about money now than I was before. As a student there is an acceptance that you are unable to afford luxuries such as real food, and gas in your vehicle, but when you move from being a student to being a "career woman" shouldn't things be different? I find myself wondering how I ever did it as a student. Its logical that I am now making nearly twice what I was a little over a month ago, but how am I barely scraping by when I survived on half this not that long ago?

Don't get me wrong, I haven't overextended myself (yet *fingers crossed and knock on wood*) but I was hoping to at least start a savings account. I have to start paying back Student Loans in just a few months, and I have no idea how I'm supposed to make that work. I was kind of hoping that the falling economy wouldn't play much of a role in the life of a recent college graduate, but I guess that was too much to hope for.

Here comes the upside though. God is in control, and there is nothing bigger than God. God is someone who will always be there for me through it all, and I need only to lean on Him. I trust that this too will pass, and I will obtain employment that allows me to have a little "above and beyond" money to play with. I am just thankful that I am blessed to have enough to pay for the bills I have now.

Inspiration Hits...

Everyday I spend mindless time on the internet, but I've found new inspiration in the surfing. Google has a list of amazing design and photography blogs, and I find myself wanting to design even more, and yearn to be awesome like some of these folk!

http://www.45walldesign.com/ (I happen to know her- she's amazing!)

http://www.pikaboo.be/

http://www.marcdahmen.de/

http://chriswoods.ca/#/sports/

There are many, many more, but I'm slowly making my way through some of the great ones. Check them out, and if you have any suggestions for beautiful blogs/sites, please pass them along!

Some More...

Here are some newly edited photos of more of Jillian and Blake's engagement shoot.

Finally...

On the way back from Mexico we had an overnight layover in LA, and my brother came to our hotel to visit us and brought my niece Joie with him! I got to see my niece and hold her for the first time, and it was worth the wait. She is so perfect! She was cooing the whole time and "talking" to me, and let me hold her the whole time we were together. I love her so much, and I'm so excited to see her grow up and be her cool Aunt Macey :)

The following photos are courtesy of picturepeople.com

Viva Mexico...

So I've been back from Mexico for a little over a week now, and should have blogged much sooner, but life got busy! So I'm now taking the time to recall (luckily I wrote down everything we did earlier, otherwise I would have never remembered it all!) and blog about it now. Better late than never right?

Day 1
The morning started out with everyone rising bright and early (5:00am!) and meeting out in the hotel lobby to head to the Boise Airport. Everyone had dressed in anticipation of arriving in LA and eventually Mazatlan, and we were shocked to see that it had snowed overnight in Boise! So everyone hurried back to their rooms to pile on layers for the cold trek outside. When we arrived at the airport we were told that the plane that was taking us to LA was stuck in Spokane with bad weather and we would be delayed for a few hours. While this news wasn't the end of the world, it did mean that we were unable to make our connection in LA for our Mazatlan trek and that we would be staying overnight in LA. We made the best of it though, and had a great time in LA.

Day 2
We finally made it to Mazatlan! Once we arrived you could immediately small the ocean and it was a glorious way to begin our vacation! Customs was easy enough. The entire group (11 in all) made it through without having to stop to get our luggage checked (they make you press a button as you walk through security; if it turns you green you may proceed, but if it turns red you are searched thoroughly- Praise God for green lights!). A shuttle from the resort picked us up and we were on our way, zooming through the city to our accommodations. Just to warn those of you with motion sickness: Mexico is not the place to go! Talk about crazy drivers! I had to close my eyes and missed most of the sights trying to keep from throwing up. Once we made it to the hotel, and finished our extensive checking in (I think with everyone's questions it was easily an hour long process!) we ran out to see the grounds. What a beautiful place! Our rooms had the most perfect view. Unfortunately that view didn't last long though. My mother is the most picky woman on the face of the earth and we spent the night switching rooms until she was happy. Dinner the first night was wonderful. I have this rule- "if you are in a place that has fresh seafood, you order the fish!" and I did :) I had Mahi Mahi the first night and it was Muy Bueno!

Day 3
Our first full day in Mexico! What a splendid place to vacation during the cold winter. Sunshine all day, the weather in the high 80's, and swimming pools, and the ocean as far as the eye can see. Fantastico! We spent our first day doing nothing but lounging, swimming, laughing, and drinking copious amounts of alcohol (which was, of course, an everyday thing). We decided to try the Italian restaurant, that is part of the hotel, for dinner. (We had chosen to purchase an all inclusive for each day we were in Mexico. So for $55 American dollars a day, we were able to eat and drink whatever we wanted- a great deal!) The restaurant was ok, but laughing about the bad service made it worth it. We soon discovered that service in Mexico (or at least this resort) stinks. It was humorous though (we actually had one waiter tell us that they had vanilla ice cream but we couldn't order it because it was too frozen and it hurts his hand to get it. lol!) The restaurant did have a really cool dessert though. It was called "spanish coffee" and it was amazing! They had a whole show that they put on to make it and everything. They would heat the glasses, and pour brandy into them which would start on fire. They would coat the glasses with warm cinnomon and then pour the coffee in with whipped cream. The coolest part though is that he would ladel more brandy in for the last step and the stream all the way from the ladel to the coffee would be on fire. It was muy delicioso!

Day 4
Probably the best day of the whole trip. This was the day that I parasailed! We decided to spend the day on the beach, and it was glorious! I love the feeling on the sand between my toes and letting the waves crash against my back. The only downside to the Mexican beaches are all the vendors. There are many, many people in Mexico that are making a living by walking the beaches and asking tourists if they would like to buy something. Beach blankets, silver jewelry, hats, glasses, windchimes, hammocks... the list can go on and on! Over and over again you are either feeling incredibly rude by ignoring them, or telling them "no" over and over again. They take the opportunity to hound you if you hesitate or smile at them. Seriously. Anyway, the parasailing was amazing. Its something I've always wanted to do, but never quite had the opportunity. We talked the guy into letting us go for $25 american (its normally $35, but we had 7 people that wanted to do it) and started our journey. Talk about craziness! Its a whirlwind of getting people in life jackets and harnassing them in, and just when you have time to start reconsidering what is you are about to do, they take off, and up in the air you go! I would love to say that we had an event free time overall, but I would be lying. They actually dropped two of our people in the water, and I am not joking! The first one: Joe, a gentleman who is a bit older, has heart trouble, deathly afraid of both heights and water, does not swim, and has no business parasailing. He was way out in over the ocean when the propeller on the boat stopped working. Just stopped. And well, when you have nothing pulling you in order to keep you in the air, you start falling, and fall he did. Straight into the ocean. He's ok, and everything turned out just fine, but talk about a small group of people standing on the shore and trying not to panic! The second one: George. He was just about to the shore, ready to land when the boat propeller stopped again! He was dropped into the water about 25 feet off the sand, so he was able to walk back to shore, but we were still worried nonetheless. Talk about 2 men that would have loved to be singe! All the women from up and down the beach flocked to them to hear their "war stories" and fauned all over them! I think their stories had sharks involved by the end of the week ;) We all had a good time though, and I would do it again in heartbeat.

Day 5
All week long Bri (my brother's girlfriend) and I had seen a woman sitting with lots of little cermaic doo-dads that you can paint sitting in front of the resort. We always refferred to her as the "art and crafts lady" and wanted to paint something. Badly. To the chagrin of my brother (who we had to listen to complain the whole time) we each purchased a craft and sat down to paint. We loved how they tuned out so much, that we went back the next day to paint another one. I love how my turtle turned out. His shell comes off and you can put things in his "body". He is the perfect earing holder.

Day 6
Market day! We decided to brave downtown Mazatlan and go view the market place. Unfortualy the market carried the exact same things that you were refusing to look at from the the peddlers on the beach! It was still a neat experience though. My favorite part of our tour of downtown was the taxi's by far! Their taxis are so neat. They are oversized golf carts that zoom in and out of everywhere! Our drivers were really cool, and made our tour fun and exciting. We were supposed to go to a "Salsa, Salsa" event where they taught you 6 different ways to make salsa and margaritas, and how to dance Salsa, but apparently we were the only group to sign up, and they cancelled it. So we hit the Mazatlan night life instead. We were out a 9:00 and it was dead! We had a good time though, dancing and drinking. We were laughing about how big the place was (seriously huge!) and that they had about 25 waiters for 7 people, but our waiter kept insisting that the place would fill up by 9:45. We didn't believe him, and around 9:30 we all headed to the restroom (safety in numbers) and when we emerged, the place was PACKED! I couldn't believe it! There were people everywhere, and the music had changed from redneck American to really fast techno. It was crazy! We stayed for about another 15 minutes, but it wasn't our scene so we left. It was a neat experience though.

Day 7
Our last day in Mexico :( I really was not ready to leave, and neither was anybody else. We decided to spend the day at the resort and enjoy lounging with the pools and ocean once more. It was a nice last day with lots of laughs, lots of swimming, and lots of drinking.

Why Is It...

Why is it that for so long I can live not knowing what it is I want to eat, so although I have cupboards and a refrigerator full of food, I find nothing I want and don't eat, but the moment I deny myself certain types of food (i.e. junk, sugar, carbs, fatty, etc) its all I can think about? Those foods that I am allowing (i.e. fruit, veggies, and lots and lots of salad) don't interest me at all, and only seem to make me hungrier. I have discovered that Slim Fast is actually really tasty and does work to fiend off hunger for the 4 hours it promises, so that's good, but this "diet" is going to kill me.

The Perfect Words...

Yesterday was a really tough day for me, and I've been crying quite a bit. I'm tired of putting myself out there only to be crushed. I was taking a bath last night, trying to relax and let my worries drift away when a song by Third Day (a Christian band) came on the radio. I have heard this song many, many times, but I think I listened to it for the first time last night. The words are perfect for how I have been feeling, and this song will never be the same for me.
God is so good.

(Third Day "Call My Name")

It's been so long since
You felt like you were loved
So what went wrong
But do you know
There's a place where you belong
Here in My Arms

When you feel like you're alone in your sadness
It seems like no one in this whole world cares
And you want to get away from the madness
You just call My name and I'll be there
You just call My name and I'll be there

The pain inside
Has erased your hope for love
Soon you will find
That I'll give you all
That your heart could ever want
And so much more

You just call My name
You just call My name
Call My name say it now
I want you to never doubt
The love I have for you is so alive
Call My name say it now
I want you to never doubt
The love I have for you is so alive

You just call My name

The new year...the new me.

Well, 2009 is officially upon us now. Wow, thinking back to December 31st, 2007, moving into 2008 seems so fresh, and I can't believe it was now over a year ago. 2008 was a good year to me. It was the year that brought me my niece Joie, and in extension, brought our family closer together- not in location or distance, but emotionally. 2008 was also the year that I took control of priorities in my life and made the decision to be serious about school and finally finished my degree. I discovered a lot about myself this past year, some good and some negative, but all progressive.

While looking forward to the new year, I want to start things off on the right foot. There are things that I want to accomplish, and having struggled through the determination of finishing my degree, I now know without a doubt that I can do anything I put my mind too- even if it's not always pleasant. I want to get serious about my health. I have had family members "pushing" me to take my health (and weight) more seriously for quite awhile now, but being the rebellious, stubborn Snelson that I am, I've not cared what they've thought, and behaved rather defensively against it. I'm at a point though, where my health and weight are important to me, and I'm ready to take control of my life. I think this is the point that everyone needs to reach when making a lifestyle change, and I feel good that I'm finally there. It's not about what others think, it's about how I feel.

I also want to get over past indiscretions this year. There is a relationship that has been over for 2 years that I just can't shake. I'm not talking about the old, "I still have feelings for him," or "but we were meant to be together" kind of shaking, but I just can't seem to move on to trusting again. This person was horrible to me, destroyed my self-esteem, and my self-image, and tore me apart. The scary thing is that for the entire 2 years I was "with" him, I never saw it. He had manipulated me perfectly, preyed on my every weakness and naivete, just right to control my every thought and move. The sun and moon rose and fell with him in my eyes, and he was the "perfect" man. For 2 years I felt so lucky to be near him, to be his best friend, and to allow people to think that someone who looked like me, could be with someone as gorgeous as he was. I loved watching girls' eyes follow him from the moment he walked in a room, full well knowing that I had arrived with him, and we would be leaving together. It seemed completely alright with me when he told me that when I lost weight we would really be together. I was ok with him having other girls in his life, knowing that when I did loose all the weight, it would be me that he was with. I was stupid. I was too far manipulated to see what was really happening. I didn't see that he only wanted me around to do his homework, write his papers, drive his ass anywhere he wanted to go, and spend my money on him. For 2 years my life revolved around him- all because it made me feel like I was somebody, for somebody, and to somebody. That's where it got difficult. I know that I'm worth something, but I hadn't really felt like was until he came along. My parents saw him for who he was. It was obvious to everyone else. A 36 year old ex-con, preying on a broken, naive 23 year old- how could they not see what he was after, but I wouldn't listen to them. He was a "christian," a man of God, and he had all the right answers. He had me wrapped around his finger, and under his thumb, right where he needed me. I was nothing to him. So how, I didn't see all this for 2 years, still baffles me.
He left for a semester abroad in Mexico, and my heart was ripped apart. For 2 years, not a day had gone by without either seeing him, or talking to him on the phone, and now he was out of the country with only e-mail and the occasional web cam conversation to keep in touch. The distance was the best thing that could have ever happened to me, but the hardest thing to ever go through. I had time to think, to talk, and to pray about the situation. A coworker at the time, and my closest friend now, began asking me questions about my "relationship," and although he never told me what to think or what to do, he seemed to ask the right questions to make me begin to question things myself. When he returned from Mexico and expected things to be the same, I knew I had to remove myself. I filed a police report (I know too much about this person for him to feel safe with me around) and moved back to Twin Falls. God works in mysterious ways, and provided a safe haven for me, with good friends, family, and work, and I finally began to move on. Or at least, I thought so. I don't understand it really. Just when I think he is behind me, that I've learned from my mistake and poor judgement, and I'm "over it," he creeps up. He's in my dreams, I see someone that reminds me of him, or he's in my head, telling me I need to change for someone. As much as I want someone in my life, to share things with, experience thing with, and grow together with, I am so scared. I don't trust my own judgement, and I'm so worried that I'm going to fall into another trap. The worst fear is falling for someone so manipulative, and so good at bullshitting me and my feelings, that even my family and friends can't see him for who he is. I don't want to be one of those women who wakes up one day, turns over in bed to see her husband lying there and thinks, "who the hell are you?" That moment of realization for who he really was will haunt me forever.

I want to get over this.

I really hope that 2009 is the year for me.