There are moments in your life that change your outlook on the future, and I've had one.
My family has always been very close, and we've all gotten along for the most part, sure everyone has there little arguments here and there, but we've all always gotten along really well. I have always felt very fortunate that there has not been a span of time where someone is not talking to another because of a large argument, like most families that I have known. But even with all that getting along, my older brother (whom I love very much) and I have not seen eye to eye for the past few years. We have had our normal ups and downs, but over the years a strain had been put on the relationship. I'm not sure where it started, or when exactly, but it's been uncomfortable, and I don't like it. I decided that the birth of my niece was a good reason to "work" on the relationship and get close again. Family has always been very important to me, and I want to be an important part to my niece's life. Some of my fondest memories growing up involves spending time with my aunts and they have helped shaped me into who I am.
So when it was time to go visit my brother and his family a few weeks ago in California, I made the mental decision to relax and try my hardest to be myself and comfortable around my brother and sister-in-law. I think the largest "elephant in the room" has been my ballooning weight over the past few years (no pun intended). My brother is a very avid health-nut and is a personal trainer for two motocross racers. He has always been interested in health and fitness and has made it a huge part of his everyday life. His wife, Danielle, is also into fitness (though not quite as neurotic as Jed). Danielle was my roommate in college for a few semesters, (that's how they met-can I get an "awww...") and taught spin and pi-yo classes at the university rec center, and now teaches a spinning class at her gym in southern California also. I can imagine that since health is such a large part of Jed and Danielle's life, my life style of being health conscious only when convenient, would be difficult for them. I hadn't spoken to my brother at all about taking charge of my health and working on better habits, and in the past I had taken my weight and health "off the table" in our conversations because it always ended in a battle. I always felt personally attacked, even though I knew it was because he cared about me that he wanted me to change.
My trip to California was the first time I had seen my brother since last summer (or maybe even before- I know it had been far too long) and I was excited to see him again. I was nervous about my size and weight though because it had been an issue in the past, and I was determined to have a good visit. My brother was a trooper. My size and weight did not come up at all during the trip, and I thoroughly relaxed and enjoyed my time.
My mom just returned from visiting Jed, Danielle, and Joie last week and we went to lunch today. My mom was telling me about her trip and how much fun she had and told me that my brother went on and on about how proud of me he was. I was shocked! She said that he pointed out how one night they had ice cream for dessert and that I hadn't had any (I had no idea he had noticed!) and that he could tell that I was taking my health seriously. It makes me feel so good to know that he noticed, but didn't make a big deal of it to me and respected me enough to keep my weight "off the table".
I called my brother this afternoon for work out tips. I think its time I make more of an effort to maintain our relationship and let him be a part of this important aspect in my life.


Feeling Good

Things have been going great since my last post. I had a lovely weekend where I had the chance to spend time with a dear friend who I haven't seen in a long while. She came up to stay with me on Saturday night and we went to church Sunday morning. It was so good to see and talk to her again... we need to do it again soon Darrelyn!
I was supposed to go home Sunday evening to celebrate my brother's 21st (oh my gosh, he's getting so old!) birthday. Unfortunately my car tires are in very poor condition so I'm not able (and scared to) drive on the freeway. I was going to ride down with a friend, but things didn't work out there, so I didn't make it. I spent the day relaxing (which was much needed) and catching up on a little "King of Queens" re-runs on DVD. Today I hit the ground running on errands that needed to be done, and a trip to the gym!
The weather is perfect with the sun shining brightly, and just the slightest breeze. I'm enjoying spending some time outdoors, and as soon as I'm finished with this post, I'll be heading to Walmart and Target to find myself a bike. I've been hemming and hawing about getting one, and not wanting to spend the money, but I think if I can find a good deal on one I just need to bite the bullet. It's an item that is an investment in my health and will save money on gas. I figure it will pay for itself in saved fuel cost this summer. I live only 3.5 miles from the Boys and Girls Club where I will be working mornings this summer, so what a perfect excuse to be outdoors and enjoying the sunshine!


Inspiration and Motivation

Ok all, it's going to be a quick post because I'm at work and we're about to close, but I just can't contain my excitement! My excitement is actually quite ironic considering I was in the depths of despair (thanks Anne of Green Gables!) just yesterday. I got on the scale in the morning (also ironic since I've been far too lazy with my work outs and healthy eating for about 4 months) and was shocked to see that I had gained back 6 of my previously lost 20 lbs. I was mortified!! How could I let that hard work go to such waste?! So while I was dissapointed I was also refreshed. Weird, I know. But I found the weight gain highly motivating. I had heard of those people who had their "wake up call" when they saw a picture of themselves, or glimpsed themselves in the mirror before getting in the shower, etc... and I had had mine! I was outraged with myself, disgusted and over it! I was getting "back on the wagon" and taking care of this once and for all! I am highly motivated to take care of this and make the changes necessary.

My Plan:
~workout at gym 6 times a week
~eat breakfast every morning (and coffee does NOT count)
~pack a healthy lunch everyday for work (a money saver too!)
~read inspirational blog posts everyday from former fat girls who've done it!
~pray - God is on my side and wants me healthy too, so why not communicate with Him about it
~enjoy this change, and embrace it

Ok, I just got the 5 minute warning. More postings to come! And any support you can offer me either on here on in person is GREATLY appreciated. This is going to be a tough journey, and I'll take any help I can get :)


The Happy Family

Easter was great this year! Not only was it a celebration of Jesus rising and remembering what He sacrificed for us all, but it was also a time to spend with some special people whom I love very much! Danielle's goal for Joie's Easter outfit was to stay as far away from your typical Easter frilly and flowery dress as possible. I heartily agreed with this decision and the result was a very cutely dressed baby girl who looks ready for a sock hop :)


Visiting California

For a graduation gift I was given a set of tickets to fly to California whenever I wanted to visit my brother and sister-in-law and my baby niece Joie. My cousin who lives in Seattle has been wanting to visit also, so we compared our calendars and found out that Easter weekend would work for us both. So we flew down last Wednesday, and have been having a great time catching up with family and enjoying each other. I wish we all lived closer together, but it's been nice having a little vacation.


Give Praise to God

I am constantly amazed by God. Sometimes I think He must just sit back and watch me get all worked up about things and just chuckle to Himself and think, "oh Macey, if only you knew the amazing things I have in store for you."
So often I get all worked up because things "aren't working out" the way I want them to. But then, just a few weeks/days/or months later things are better than I could have ever imagined. I wonder who people give credit to for all the good things in their life if they don't believe in God. I imagine a non-believer would be very sad to revel in joy on their own. I am so thankful to have been raised in a family that readily gives praise to God, and to have parents who always point me towards Him.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.


Moving Day!

It's moving day finally! I'm so excited!! Pictures of the place are coming soon, but until then, please enjoy this clip from one of my favorite FRIENDS episodes when Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Rachel all have a moving day of their own. :)


Explain to Me

Why do I let the happiness of someone else dictate how I behave? I know that I am in the right, and that all I need to do is continue down this road, but someone being upset with me makes me stubble my steps. I need to just do what I set out to accomplish all along and let her be upset. She will always convince herself that she was right and I was wrong, but as long as I can look myself in the mirror and know that I've done the right thing I will be ok.

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14